Simplify

I’m simplifying my life and I seem to no longer have much grace for things I’ve tolerated but not loved. I’m not sure if it comes from just being in a long season of chaos and uncertainty?

Today I paid someone to put a new front door in. I never do that. If I can do it myself I will. I realized last week that my projects list was massive and they were all things that when not done feel like chaos to me. I want to walk in my front door and not have to about kick it open because it sticks. It was also straight from 1970. It’s been on my to do list along with taping and texturing a room, putting in all new doors including closet doors, repainting my daughters room again, getting French doors in, trimming my trees, canning the rest of my fruit, making Malachi fun stuff. I have this list. I’ve been drowning in this list but feeling like because I have a weekend I should be able to get these all done. Oh and ride my horse, raise my youngest daughter and spend time with my grandson. Oh, and work.

Today I watched the guy put in the door and it took him the day. I’ve never put a door in. I realized it would have taken me two days. I then looked at my list and realized no wonder I feel behind. Who could get this all done on weekends and still spend quality time and do everything else? But these things are the things that grate on my nerves. When I go to open another door, (yes I have a lot of door issues) and it’s wrong or just ugly it’s another reminder to me of chaos.

So I’ve been starting to do something about my chaos. The guy is coming several days a week and he’s starting with all my doors. Pretty soon I will have beautiful wood doors with everything working. You won’t see all my laundry or the crazy stuff in my pantry because there will be doors. The sliding glass door that does not like to open is leaving and a French door will be in its place. Do you know how much I love French doors? Do you know how fun it will be to open the door?

I had to get real about me. Today I had a list of things to do. I took the day off to do them. Malachi came over about an hour into my to do list. I looked at my projects and I looked at Malachi and I realized I can pay someone to do my projects but I can’t get back today with Malachi. He will only be todays age once. So I got some stuff done but I also got to rock him to sleep and love on him and remind him how amazing and loved he is.…and I loved it.

If you want chaos to stop in your life you have to do something different. It doesn’t just disappear. You have to prioritize your time because if you don’t there’s a line of things that will. At the end of the day, it’s your life, your 24 hours. I’m happy with today. I got some stuff done, my front door is in AND it closes but best part was I got to remind Malachi that I love him. He’s the best part of my day. I am not the same woman I was a year ago and that’s a very good thing.